Why do I encourage you to build confidence so frequently? Because I know the potential it has to transform your life for the better. I share this with you because I want you to see that confidence is something that you can build on. Like anything else, it will take time and effort but the end result will be worth it.

It’s no secret that self-doubt and insecurities can hold you back, but confidence is the key to unlocking new opportunities and freeing yourself from those limitations. Trust in yourself and watch as doors you never imagined swing wide open. You’ve got this!

In this episode I dive deep into confidence and its incredible power to revolutionize your entire world. I’ll spill the beans on what confidence really means and how it can turn your life upside down (in the best way!). Say goodbye to those sneaky confidence killers that have been holding you back and say hello to a new, fearless you! Oh, and did I mention the best part? I’m going to share five super easy actions that will skyrocket your confidence starting right now! This episode is your personal guide to build unshakeable confidence, so don’t miss this.

In this Episode we cover:

  • Confidence is a skill that anyone can learn
  • How confidence changes your life
  • Why confident women get more opportunities in their careers
  • What’s undermining your confidence
  • What you can learn from Renee Radick on Ally McBeal
  • 5 easy actions to build confidence right now

Confidence: What It Is & How It Can Change Your Life

You might feel embarrassed and angry that you haven’t created more of what you want in your life. While you’re still breathing, there is no need for that. A lack of confidence will keep you from applying for better-paying positions in your company that you are qualified for. Lack of confidence will affect your relationships–all of them. Lack of confidence will affect how confidently you show up or whether you even do.

Where Confidence Comes From

When you feel confident, you naturally engage more—at work and at play. That’s because when you’re confident your energy draws the right people, things, and opportunities to you.

Why is it that some women seem to have all of the confidence in the world while others struggle to believe in themselves even a smallest amount? There are a lot of variable but there’s one big lie that trips women up.

Maybe you’ve always thought confidence came down to where and how you grew up or your lived history. Those things certainly do have an affect, but there’s another, more important truth that counts more.

Confidence is appropriate application of your track record to the opportunities in front of you.

Allegra M. Sinclair

Confidence Is a Skill

Confidence is appropriate application of your track record to the opportunities in front of you. I know I can do this new thing because I’ve doing this before, or I’ve done something really similar.

Being able to see the relationship between your current challenge and your history is a skill. Doing this quickly and easily gets easier over time.

The wonderful thing about skills is that they can be learned by anyone at any time. That means even if you don’t feel confident at all right now, you can begin developing this vital skill in the next 5 minutes.

Confidence is not solely determined by one’s upbringing or past experiences. It is a skill that can be learned and developed over time. Here’s a closer look at how confidence can be cultivated as a skill.

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How to Build Confidence Skills

  • Gaining Self-Awareness: To build confidence start with self-awareness. It involves recognizing your strengths, acknowledging areas for growth, and understanding your values and goals. Focusing on your weakness does not make you more confident. You build confidence by gaining a deeper understand of yourself from a place of authenticity and self-acceptance.
  • Challenging Limiting Beliefs: Confidence is often hindered by limiting beliefs or negative self-talk that undermines your self-worth. Identifying these beliefs and actively challenging them is crucial. By reframing negative thoughts and replacing them with positive and empowering beliefs, you can shift your mindset and boost your confidence.
  • Setting and Achieving Goals: Setting achievable goals and working towards them is a powerful way to build confidence. As you accomplish smaller milestones, you gain a sense of achievement and belief in your abilities. Celebrating these successes reinforces a positive self-perception and encourages you to take on greater challenges.
  • Embracing a Growth Mindset: Adopting a growth mindset is key to building confidence. Embrace the idea that discomfort and setbacks are opportunities for learning and growth rather than personal shortcomings. Emphasize the process of improvement rather than solely focusing on outcomes, and view challenges as stepping stones towards success.
  • Stepping Out of Comfort Zones: Building confidence involves pushing beyond comfort zones and embracing new experiences. By intentionally seeking out and engaging in activities that stretch your capabilities, you gradually expand your comfort zone and realize your potential. Each time you step outside your comfort zone, you prove to yourself that you are capable of growth and adaptation.
  • Practice and Persistence: Confidence is a skill that requires practice and persistence. Engage in activities that align with your passions and interests, and commit to continuous learning and improvement. The more you practice, the more competent you become, and the greater your confidence grows.

Remember, the journey to build confidence is not an overnight transformation. It is a lifelong journey of self-discovery and personal growth. By treating confidence as a skill and actively working on its development, anyone can build a solid foundation of self-belief and unleash their true potential.

How Confidence Changes Your Life

The more confident you are, the better results you’ll get in work and life. Confident people seem to get more opportunities and have better experiences than those with less confidence. 

It’s not because confident women are smarter, luckier or born with the right ‘sign’. There is nothing arbitrary about being ready. It’s because they believe in themselves and so they operate from a position of strength. Instead of walking into a situation hoping for scraps, yyou walk in with the assurance that you’re just as talented, smart, and qualified as the next person. And you deserve everything that’s available to you.

Confident women get more opportunities in their careers

It is generally true that confident women tend to attract more opportunities in their careers. Confidence plays a significant role in how others perceive and respond to you, which can directly impact the opportunities that come your way. Here are a few reasons why confident women often enjoy greater career opportunities:

1. Positive Impressions: Confidence exudes a sense of self-assurance and competence, making a strong and positive impression on others. This can lead to increased recognition, respect, and consideration for promotions or career advancements.

2. Effective Communication: Confident women tend to communicate more effectively, expressing their ideas and opinions with clarity and conviction. This skill enhances their ability to influence others, build relationships, and seize opportunities for growth and development.

3. Risk-Taking: Confidence allows women to step out of their comfort zones and take calculated risks. This willingness to embrace challenges and seek new experiences can lead to valuable opportunities that others may shy away from, enabling personal and professional growth.

4. Networking and Relationship Building: Confidence often leads to more proactive networking and relationship building. Confident women are more likely to approach new people, engage in conversations, and establish connections. These expanded networks can provide access to valuable opportunities, mentorship, and career advancements.

5. Resilience and Adaptability: Confidence instills resilience and the ability to bounce back from setbacks or failures. Confident individuals are more likely to view challenges as learning opportunities and maintain a positive mindset, which allows them to persevere and seize new chances for success.

While confidence is not the sole determinant of career opportunities, it undoubtedly plays a significant role in influencing how others perceive and respond to you in professional settings, creating a favorable environment for growth and advancement.

Whether you realize it or not, confidence impacts every area of your life. If you struggle with this skill, don’t worry, you can learn how to build confidence and step into the life you deserve.

What’s Undermining Your Confidence?

Without confidence, it’s easy to stay stuck in situations you dislike. Maybe it’s a job you hate or perhaps it’s a relationship that’s become draining. 

Understanding the cause of your low self-confidence is the key to overcoming it. Here are four of the most common reasons that people lack confidence…

Frequent Self Criticism

You’re always worried about what others see when they look at you. You fret that people won’t like you because of your hair, skin, or nails. You complain about how you look or think your personality is dull.

When you have a constant string of negative thoughts about yourself, it’s hard to feel confident. Instead of being a mental bully, pause. Ask yourself to list three good qualities about you. If you can’t think of anything, ask a supportive friend or caring family member what they love about you.


Trauma comes in many forms—from being bullied on the playground as a kid to being sexually assaulted to watching your home burn down. To make sense of trauma, your brain tries to create a reason for it. 

If the event was seemingly random (such as a house fire), you may blame yourself. You may think you were bad and deserved it. When you have low self-confidence stemming from trauma, it can be helpful to seek out a professional counselor or therapist to help you work through these feelings.

Unrealistic Expectations

Sometimes, it’s not about what you think about yourself—it’s about what you expect. If you’re a perfectionist or were perhaps raised by one, you may believe that everything you do needs to be perfect.

Often, people that struggle with unrealistic expectations and low self-confidence believe that their identity is tied to the things they do. This creates a problem when you do something imperfectly. Then you label yourself a failure or fraud. 

The best thing to do in this situation is to take a step back. Ask yourself if you would have these same expectations for anyone else. For example, would you expect your best friend to move and have her new home organized within a day?

Past Decisions

Everyone has a past and everyone has done something they’re ashamed of. But for some people, they become hyper-focused on what they’ve done previously. Instead of practicing self-forgiveness, you remind yourself of all the ways you’ve messed up.

You may even believe that your identity is linked to your past mistakes. For example, you might say, “I’ve never done well in school. Why should I think I’m capable of getting A’s now that I’m in college?”

But these thoughts fail to acknowledge that you are a human being capable of growth. Regardless of what you might have in the past, today is a new day. That means you have another chance to be a new version of yourself.

Low self-confidence doesn’t have to be a curse you carry around for the rest of your life. With awareness and coaching, you can build confidence and become a more confident you.

What You Can Learn About Confidence From Renee Radick (Ally McBeal)

Renee Radick, a character from the television series “Ally McBeal,” offers valuable insights into the nature of confidence. Renee is portrayed as a bold and self-assured woman who radiates confidence in various aspects of her life. Here are a few lessons we can learn from her character:

  • Embrace Your Uniqueness: Renee fully embraces her unique qualities and celebrates her individuality. She doesn’t conform to societal standards or seek validation from others. Instead, she confidently expresses her personality, opinions, and style, showcasing that confidence stems from embracing who you truly are.
  • Own Your Voice: Renee isn’t afraid to speak up and assert herself. She confidently communicates her thoughts, desires, and boundaries, which allows her to be heard and respected by others. This highlights the importance of finding your voice and using it to express yourself authentically.
  • Cultivate Supportive Connections: Renee values the power of strong relationships and surrounds herself with a supportive community. She maintains friendships with individuals who uplift and encourage her, creating a positive environment that fuels her confidence. This reminds us of the importance of cultivating healthy connections that nurture our self-belief.
  • Become Resilience in the Face of Challenges: Renee demonstrates resilience and a positive attitude when faced with adversity. She bounces back from setbacks and maintains her confidence despite obstacles. This teaches us that setbacks are part of life, and having the resilience to overcome them contributes to our overall confidence and growth.
  • Embody Self-Acceptance: Renee exudes self-acceptance and embraces her physical appearance without seeking external validation. She demonstrates that true confidence comes from within and is not solely dependent on societal beauty standards. Embracing and accepting ourselves as we are is a key aspect of building unwavering confidence.

While Renee Radick is a fictional character, her portrayal in “Ally McBeal” offers valuable lessons about confidence. Her embodiment of self-assurance, authenticity, resilience, and supportive relationships can inspire us to embrace our own confidence and live life to the fullest.

5 Easy Actions to Boost Your Confidence Right Now

It’s crunch time—you have to give that big presentation, write that report, or show up for that job interview. You’re nervous and sweaty and feeling like a mess. How can you build confidence right now? Try doing one of these five things:

Recall a Victory

Close your eyes and think about a moment when you had an overwhelming victory. Try to think of a time when you doubted you could perform the task then you came through with flying colors. For example, maybe during your last workout, you pushed yourself to do an extra three reps. When you were done, you felt amazing and on top of the world. 

Thinking about a previous win is a wonderful way to boost your confidence. It’s empowering to remember a time when you overcame an obstacle and found a way through difficult circumstances.

Visualize Yourself

Before you head into a difficult task, visualize yourself crushing it. You might think this sounds silly but consider the fact that athletes who perform at the top of their game often do this exercise.

Ally McBeal’s colleague Renee Radick Michael Phelps, the Olympic swimmer, created what he called a “mental tape”. This was a visualization of his perfect swim. Whenever his coach wanted to challenge Michael, he’d tell him to play the tape and this would encourage the young swimmer to push himself that much harder.


Another way to tap into your self-confidence is to try meditating briefly for a few minutes. If you don’t normally meditate or if you need direction doing it, you can find a variety of apps to download on your smart phone. A couple of popular ones are Calm and The Mindfulness App

When you meditate you clear your mind of anxiety, frustration, and other negative emotions. With your inner resistance gone, you open up the path to experience true confidence and a deeper belief in yourself.

Dress Up

Before you do something difficult, take the time to get ready. Go all out and do everything you would if you were attending a fancy event. Put on your best clothes. Do your makeup. Fix your hair.

If you have a special skin care routine, do it now. If you wear meaningful jewelry that makes you feel good about yourself, put it on. Once you’re all set, you’ll be surprised at how much it boosts your confidence to look your best. 

Be Prepared

Sometimes, the thing that undermines your confidence before an important moment is the “what-if” questions. You might ask yourself, “What if I fail? What if no one likes my presentation? What if the slides don’t move forward? What if I can’t remember what the interviewer asked me?”

Instead of pushing these thoughts away, indulge them. Give serious thought to what you would do in each situation. 

Sometimes, the best way to build confidence is to be prepared. So think it through and decide what you’ll do ahead of time. Chances are, nothing will go wrong during your big moment. But if it does, you’ll be able to face it with confidence and assurance.

You don’t have to spend hours trying to boost your confidence before a big event. Even if you have just a few minutes, there are plenty of things you can do to increase your belief in yourself!

In conclusion, knowing how to build confidence is not only essential for personal growth, but it’s also a powerful tool for transforming your life. When you believe in yourself and your abilities, you can achieve anything you set your mind to. Confidence is something that can be developed over time with consistent effort and practice. So don’t let self-doubt hold you back from living the life you deserve. Embrace your strengths and always remember that you are capable of achieving greatness. Believe in yourself and take action towards your dreams – the world is waiting for you to shine!

More about the Podcast

Over the years, Your Confident Self has become a go-to resource for anyone looking to improve their self-confidence and overcome obstacles in their personal and professional lives. With more than 150,000 downloads and counting, Allegra’s podcast has built a loyal following of listeners who appreciate her thoughtful insights and practical wisdom.

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Allegra M. Sinclair

Allegra M. Sinclair is a professional coach and confidence expert. She hates to see women living small and loves to help them change how they show up in the world.

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